Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't think brook has ever known best
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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