We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
