i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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