My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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