It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
