she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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