Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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