If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think a kid would responsible me up
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize