Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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