Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
soo... how was my night?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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