if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My balls are so social today.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
