You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
