I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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