i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
