3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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