Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
