If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
