pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Apparently you make a good broom.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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