I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
