would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
