I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
