I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
