YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
