I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
