ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
