Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
