How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
