If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
