I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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