She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
