i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
