The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
