all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
