I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize