id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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