you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
is it fun? or sober?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
