i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
