well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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