The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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