I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
