Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
