I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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