No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
