dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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