his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
