I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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