We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
