I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
