I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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