I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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