Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
