Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
