I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
