If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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