I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
