elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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