How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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