:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
