69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
