If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
