Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
