i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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