More tranny stories later!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
