Swine flu is the new snow day.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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