i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
