Your tits are I can't wait for
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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