Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
