Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
