I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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