I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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