I want to make a zoo with you.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
