I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
